Misread Magic Items: Gem of Blightness

The Gem of Brightness isn’t one of the best known items. It is a great exploration magic item, focusing, as you might expect, on illumination. The item has 50 charge, sheds light as per the light cantrip for free, and then focuses on blinding people. Of course, if you use the AoE version, your friends better be…

Misread Magic Item: Ring of Thumping

The ring of jumping is a classic magic item. It’s only a bonus action to cast the jump spell, it’s self only, and it’s without any limits other than that. You put it on, you leap small buildings in a single bound, that kind of thing. As far as utility goes, it’s pretty amazing. However, I would love to…

Misread Magic Items: Blame Tongue

The flame tongue is a D&D classic. A sword that bursts into flame upon command, what’s not to love? For all of its strengths, it’s not exactly a subtle weapon. What’s a good company rogue to do? Now, a sword willing to pass the buck for you? That’s more like it. Blame Tongue Weapon (any…

Misread Magic Item: Cubic Date

Back on the horse today, I take a look at the cubic gate. I wanted to keep the feel of the original item, but change it in both form and functionality enough to warrant instant lore inclusion. In this case, I instantly thought a legend of this fruit that would sometimes lead to adventure for those…

Misread Magic Items: Cloak of the Bait

The cloak of the bat is one of those items I always look at and think, “that is a cool item, I should give that out at some point. Not right away, but when people are higher level,” and then I promptly never remember to do it. It’s totally rad. You turn into a cheesy movie vampire….

Misread Magic Items: Whelk

I love me a good sentient magic item. The conflict and tension that arises between object and bearer can be nothing short of gripping when told correctly. As with all other things, it can be the stuff of nightmares when told poorly. One of the things I’ve always wanted to do is tell a largely…

Misread Magic Items: Armor of the Resistance

One of the tropes that gets a lot of play in fantasy and sci-fi games is having an underground resistance fighting against a tyrant or dictator. The hopelessly outmatched and untrained citizens band together, led by a few nobles, knights, or otherwise socially and militarily prominent figures. There is usually some sort of symbol to…

Misread Magic Items: Gloves of Swarming and Clawing

The gloves of swimming and climbing are classic must-have magic items for many adventurers. Without them, your undoubtedly stylish full plate armor will be on display at a museum, after your untimely death from falling off a mountain into a lake. You’ll be a fully armored juggernaut in no time, with those bad boys! Of course,…

Misread Magic Items: Weapon of Warming

The original magical item is fresh in my mind, as I just handed out one last night! An assassin had a sickle that was a weapon of warning. It’s a short mishearing from warning to warming. Either way you slice it, such a weapon is probably a great thing to have. You either get an…

Misread Magic Items: Bead of Farce

This week’s entry into Misread Magic Items is the bead of farce, obviously a spoof, perhaps a goof around, on the bead of force. First, farce is a great word. Farcical is even better, it sounds like fartsicle. It gets hot enough here in the summer that I’d probably resort to eating a fartsicle if it would cool…

Misread Magic Items: Carpet of Frying

Even if no one else likes it, or cares, Misread Magic Items is probably my favorite thing I write. I end up looking at the existing magic items, and trying to alter them in name and function in interesting ways. It’s a good semi-improv effort, as I usually put myself on something of a time limit…

Misread Magic Items: Sword of Hounding

The huntsman raised her sword high, skin sparkling with frost in the harsh light of the moon. The sword came down more swiftly than darkness when a candle is extinguished, and the elf screamed as it pierced his side, causing him to stumble in his flight. Almost instantly, he could hear the braying of the…